We’ve all been there, the dating and the breakups as if it’s an endless cycle. We invest and invest, but then we’re left to wonder sometimes what we did wrong in our relationships. Personally, I’ve come to learn (thankfully) that after heartbreak and taking time for myself, love really does turn out better the second time around. Now, some of you may be reading this and be in a relationship where it was a one-stop-shop, meaning you found the one right at the start, but some of us had obstacles to overcome.
After a relationship a few years ago, I had to almost re-discover myself, and what I actually wanted out of relationships. As years passed after the previous relationship, flings with other guys took place and some asked me out on dates. It was time and time again, I kept telling guys “no.” Why I said no you may ask? Because I knew what I wanted out of a relationship, and these guys weren’t capable of giving me: commitment, intellectual conversations, focus and determination, the will to keep pushing forward. Majority of the time I knew that if I asked these guys what my favorite color was, they would have no idea. What was sad was that the simple things about me, wasn’t their priority.
Then all of a sudden, love came around and it has proven to be the best ever: a gentleman who is kind, caring, supportive, humble, fun, goofy, a listener and someone who goes all in to make a relationship a two-way street. I was shocked, and hesitant at first, waiting for the other shoe to drop because that’s what every girl is used to; but finally this is a guy who wants me for me and nothing else. All it took was time and patience to grow myself, and the right guy came along. One guy taught me all I have missed out on in a boyfriend. Normally if I say thank you or give him a compliment, his reply is, “Well, isn’t that what a boyfriend should do?”
So, why is love better the second time around? You’ve learned all you were missing, and you have a clearer understanding as to what personality fits your needs. If you found your happily ever after in one shot, good for you! If not, your time is coming. Love the second time around is all about personal growth, and how well you can work together in a relationship. Your significant other should encourage you in your endeavors, and how you stand independently. Who I am as a person has always been my priority in life, and my boyfriend does nothing but encourage. Love the second time around wasn’t me hiding behind anyone, instead it has me standing side by side with someone who wants to share the world with me.