Mind Over Matter Series: Keeping Confidence

Confidence is a tricky concept. We’re all taught nowadays to not care about what others think, and to just love yourself…easier said than done right? I want to talk to you all about how I’ve worked to a better state of confidence now verses where I was a few years ago. For example, at 21 I defined my confidence by the boys that liked me; the more boys that looked my way, I felt better about myself. Once I hit my final year of college, I had peaked in my academics and found confidence through my time on cheer and dance team, and exploring fitness.

When working towards a better state of confidence, it is important to follow what makes you feel comfortable, but realize you have to take risks sometimes. So, I present to you my top three picks of what helps keeps my confidence up:

1. Fitness

-I thrive when it comes to physical fitness. I am the first person who will try a new workout or a different class. When I go to the gym, sometimes I stay longer than I probably should. As I enter the gym or prepare for a new workout, I approach it as being a kid on the playground; you’d be surprised how different you feel. Instead of dragging a workout, find a workout you enjoy! You don’t have to follow workouts that other people do, or feel obligated to a specific exercise. Choose what makes you feel good! It is as simple as that.

2. Challenging myself intellectually

-There is something extremely exciting when you take advantage of your intellectual side. I take pride in my love for books, and what I learn from them. I’ve worked hard to not be a “ditzy” girl, instead I worked to be a well-read woman / well-educated woman. To be someone who was constantly curious to learn more, unknowingly, I held an enormous amount of confidence right in the palm of my hand. I had the ability to hold meaningful conversations, and pass on new discoveries that others didn’t know yet. Why not hold my head high for indulging into literature? Nerdy and intelligence is sexy.

3. Clothing choices

-Shopping for clothes can be frustrating and awkward all at once. For example, I don’t like shirts that are too fitted or too loose, I like them in the middle. On the other hand, I’m not a fan of two-piece itty bitty bikinis, I prefer a two-piece with high waisted shorts. Clothing can be a tricky situation, and it’s important to buy what makes you feel great! Don’t buy clothes to impress others, their opinion doesn’t matter and isn’t important. If you’re comfortable and feel like you’re on top of the world, your confidence will soar.

Keeping your confidence up goes beyond my top three list. Us girls (especially) have to realize that everyone has their own opinion, but that opinion doesn’t define who you are. What brings out a strong confidence is you choosing what’s right for you. Take time to understand what makes you feel good, and what you enjoy doing. Confidence comes when you know yourself, and make decisions for yourself.

I want to encourage you to start today, step by step, choosing to be comfortable but take risks too. What I love to do is, once I’ve become comfortable with something I think about my next steps and how I can push myself out of my comfort zone. Keeping confidence is constantly a push and pull with comfort and risks, and finding a happy medium with it all. In the end, know that confidence is possible if you work for it hard enough.

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